Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Monday Musings 318 : Taxing conversations!

Monday Musings: Taxing conversations!

I have written about interesting conversations during taxi rides here many times, particularly those which happen with the drivers at the wheel – most of them had inspirational hues. I could not help telling those stories because they were examples of individuals who were negotiating the bends and bumps in lives as deftly as they were negotiating the bends and bumps on the roads.
However this story is of a very different hue – and it’s written based on the recount of a friend of mine who happened to go through this experience. Enjoy the possibility of a smile.
First the facts – the friend in question is a lass in early thirties, quite a looker I must admit, usually nattily dressed – almost stylish come to think of it and blessed with a well gymed toned structure; however like most such people who are blessed being this way but are constantly unsatisfied with their ‘weight’ and who almost make others who have genuine ‘weight issues’ cringe in part envy and part irritation (the same feeling we used to get in school when we found someone who had scored 91% having a gloomy look because the highest was 91.3%!!)
Such a person as described above hails a cab and is busy on the phone describing her (imaginary) weight woes to a fried and how she wear checks and deep colours to hide her (imaginary again) girth. In normal circumstances I am all for kindness and forgiveness and everything else associated with a good human being. However for such people who at 63 kgs bemoan their being fat and having weight issues I recommend the highest possible penal punishment for atrocities against humankind who are blessed with 63 kgs or thereabouts only the middle of their body – rest being evenly distributed in the extremities. Hence what happened next can only be described as poetic justice or may be karmic retribution. I am convinced now that there is a God and who believes in justice. 😀😀
The taxi driver overhears the weight issues being described on the phone – and quickly (I am sure only after due diligence of observation and assessment) declares – ‘’Madam – I don’t think you are fat”. Silence!
It is a known human peculiarity that we often give more credence to stranger’s assessment than those given by well wishers.
Some people are not satisfied by only giving opinions. They must go for the jugular – by giving suggestions too.
“Madam, have you seen that TV ad – in which they show the belt that helps to lose weight? I think you should use that”. Well done my boy. To my friend in question - Serves you right. Now you know how we feel when YOU talk about weight loss!!
There are yet others who will not stop at suggestions. They must go all the way to commit the highest sin of all. They will also give alternatives – each more diabolic than the rest.
“ madam, you should do lie on your back – raise legs and keep trying to touch them – in one month you will lose all weight.’’. The poor soul forgot that the minimum requirement to lose weight is have it in good quantity in the first place. He would not know it but angels will circle around his taxi because in his own way he became a divine instrument in delivering justice of the kind I described above. Well done my boy.
I asked my friend, filled with joy as I heard this story, how did this whole thing feel to her. She is a sport and was quite amused by the attention and advises her innocuous phone conversations had generated.
I, on the other hand, always in search of a story, have this to say – A weight has been lifted off my soul while some continues to be deposited on the body. 😀😀

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