Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Monday Musings 301 - Sab Maaya Hai

Monday Musings: Sab Maaya Hai !!
It is the New Year time and we must pay homage to this artificial construct of time. There is nothing whatsoever that will change as the digital clock will show zero zero today midnight. The sun will go about its job tomorrow morning just as diligently as it has been doing for the last few million of years and the winds will blow without a care for the revelry in most parts of the earth. Our lungs and heart will go on about their tasks as well - just the way they were doing for so many years; although I must add the liver, kidney and bladder might have to do some extra work for those who might have a few drinks extra. The point is everything shall be as usual. The Homo sapiens needed a justification for celebration and he got one with the change in Gregorian calendar.
I dug out all my New Year writings for the last 7-8 years that I have been writing and I must add I was a tad disappointed to read them. They all read alike – as if I had nothing new to write about most of the time. Mostly the New Year pieces were those of stock taking, of pause and reflection, of closures and beginnings, of resolutions and regrets. Mostly they were pieces of advice and lament, of pontificating and ennui. There were more statements of intent than action and more questions than answers. I did not find much evidence of what had I decoded in the last year when I wrote them. Let me change it then today.
I have figured that things are never as good or as bad as they appear. I continue to be taken by surprise. I realise people are good and bad inexplicably and our attempts to theorise about their goodness and vile is futile. I realise that I have moments of spirited goodness and helpless meanness for no rhyme or reason.
I realise we look great or stupid alternatively although some have some great runs for a longer period of time and others have the misfortune of a prolonged rough patch. This has got nothing to do with their talent, intent, hard work or any other factor that is within reasonable control. For no reason there are clouds and then suddenly for no reason there is sunshine.
There is more randomness than destiny in the world and we should stop looking for cause and effect all the time.
Good happens to the wicked and ‘Sh@t’ happens to the good. In any case who is good and who is wicked keeps changing places just as what is good and what is sh#t also keeps changing shape with amoebic efficiency. I realise there is more drama than sense around. I see the drama even as I write this – a drama that is both meaningful and inconsequential at the same time (or lease has the potential to be both).
I realise we are passengers in every conceivable ways – on the earth, in the country, in the families and in the jobs. I also realise we don’t like being mere passengers. We want our journey to mean something. The more we realise that there is no meaning in it all, the more desperate is our need to anchor a meaning from every association, from every action, and from every event. I realise it is a wild goose chase. I realise that it is as bad not to have a purpose and perhaps it is much worse to be obsessively wedded to a purpose. A few years ago I used to think the other way round.
So much is happening outside the window of the bus in which we are travelling. I realise that both have issues – not having a bus to call our own as well as belonging only to one bus. I realise travelling and staying still have their own issues.
I realise strange is not strange anymore – that strange is the new normal and that my own threshold for strangeness must improve significantly if I have to retain sanity and a sense of normalcy. Predictability is a myth – a mirage, a construct we have created because we don’t know what we would do otherwise. It is better to chase an illusion that we can understand than live with reality that we cannot fathom. Reality never owed us anything and the illusion never had real teeth. We are doomed both ways.
I realise that there is too much talk and too little action. I also realise that sometimes quick action is a substitute for deep thinking – it’s a deflection from people knowing that they cannot really think. Words are prison but so is action. Both can give us a false sense of accomplishment.
I realise that the really all pervasive and all too powerful human instinct is the instinct to survive. Self preservation is not only an art but it has a utility of a Swiss knife in the wild. So when I see a blatant show of self promotion or chicanery, of pettiness or vileness – I see a desperate attempt to survive. I do not get disturbed now when I see this. Something in me understands and allows it to be.
When I see the echo of happy wishes on the new year of 2018 I realise that it has the potential to be happy and sad at the same time; that it has the potential of being a brand new year or just a continuation of the same old days; that the deluge of bland off-the-shelf whatsapp wishes broadcasted as a ‘to do’ would in a way reflect all that is so good and so bad in things around us. I realise it is still ok.
The good old lament ‘Sab Maaya hai’ has acquired a brand new nuance. Happy New Year 2018. ||||

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