164 Monday Musings: A Humbling 2012
The last Monday of every year begets a musings. This is the fifth new year that my musings are witnessing and for strange reasons of sentimental indulgence i went back and read the previous four. I don't know what i was searching, may be dots that i could connect in retracing the last four year ends that may assure me that i was not only growing old but at least in some ways also growing up. Midway through this exercise i lose interest and i sit down with a fairly empty mind and still fingers on the keyboard.
2012 was an year of breaking certitudes for me. For every truism an equal and opposite revealed itself - in full measure and with its own validity.
The world appeared to have returned from an economic brink but not quite, as many responsible nations continued to play too close to the cliff. Old theaters of strife and violence continued unabated and new social and political fault lines were discovered. Countries and communities were messed up in the past, while increasingly there is evidence of individuals being messed up. There is no lager cause in the name of which they perpetrate the havoc, but just a sick mind, devoid of sanity and humanity seeking closures. There is solution to the former but i am scared that there is none to the later.
An year can be humbling when it reveals within a short span of 12 months the follies of certitudes, the meaninglessness of permanence. So many opposite can sit together in close proximity - unbridled joy with soul choking grief, the liberation of endless possibilities with the blankness of Cul de sac, the assurance of confidence with sinking feeling of vulnerability, the vitality of companionship with the disillusionment of relationships, the energy of hope with the gloom of despair, the light of clarity with the shadows of ambiguity. If only the year could have been clearly skewed decisively towards one way, one could have blamed the times, destiny or luck. The fact that the extremes co existed in harmony and in full measures, only reveals its true design - to humble man. The man who had forgotten humility must be reminded. I am reminded to look for 'good in the bad and bad in the good' in 2013.
Here is a list of my resolutions for 2013 in no order of preference -
Be healthy - run at least 4 marathons (2 in 2011, 3 in 2012, so 4 in 2013 is progress)
Write regularly and widely (31 musings in 2011 but 27 in 2012 is not progress)
Substantial effort to re skill for the next 10 years (Read, Read, Teach, Coach)
Finish the first book (Critical - enough is enough)
Spend significant time with kids (To make everything else worth it)
....and while all of this is being attempted, remember that life must not be taken too seriously - it has a mind of its own.