Monday Musings 232 - Fortuitously forty
I wonder sometimes what Ganga feels while it springs from bhagirathi, and hurtles down the mountains with youthful vigor, mostly untamed and flirting with her constraints, herself and her co passengers always on the edge. I wonder if she is even aware of her destiny and the fact that the mountains may be the place where she took birth but her end will come some 2000 miles away in faraway unknown land, far far away from the surroundings that she would know as home.
I wonder what she feels when she assumes the calm of the plains as the incline vanishes. I wonder what goes through her soul at Haridwar where she experiences the tapering of the vigor and the composure it will acquire without much warning. I wonder she was mentally even prepared for the the long arduous calm that lies ahead. What if she always imagined that the jump over the cliffs will last forever?
I wonder if she is bored as it travels through the gangetic plain haunted by the memory of the earlier avtaar and experiences angst for a life not long ago. I wonder if she misses her wayward ways, the swing of her hips, the hope in her meander. I wonder if she questions the supreme confidence that she had about herself and her ability to chart her course. Did she really chose her course or did she not? Does she even ask this question and does she know the answer?
I wonder whether she even knows as it crosses into Bengal before turning into Hoogly that she is now the beginning of her last leg. She is in her prime but the tapering off is about to begin. Is she satisfied with the way things have turned out or does she have regrets?
I wonder if she even remembers the banks she has crossed, or if they are etched in her memory and she will be able to recollect those villages, hamlets and cities effortlessly or if she will struggle to trace a smile here and a tear there.
I wonder what if Ganga were to know that no one else remembers her much accept the fact they are accustomed to her presence and i wonder what the banks would feel if Ganga has only a hazy recollection of them.
I wonder if Ganga ever wants to trace her journey back and relive her journey and should that chance be given if she would do it in exactly the same way or will she change the course and character of her odyssey.
I tuned 40 and i wish Ganga could talk to me and let me know her heart.