Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Monday Musings 316 - The FIFA lunacy.

The FIFA lunacy.

For someone who has been away from the television for many years now (disclosure: Movies are not TV; only News/reality shows/ serials/ and most importantly SPORTS are considered TV for the purpose of above claim) the whole brouhaha about the highs and lows of sporting spectacles is difficult to understand.
My social conversation dipped to all time lows during IPL because I just did not know (or cared) what really was happening. My situation is similarly gri...m during the FIFA world cup.
I have come to the conclusion that the sports are the biggest contributor to world obesity – junk food is the hapless scapegoat. Only about a few play while many millions watch from their cosy couches; while the players accumulate greatness, the watchers accumulate girth.
I have great academic interest in the sociology of a huddle which is glued to the TV during a game – my friends who otherwise are pretty sane fellows start showcasing behaviour which is quite difficult to believe. One should hear their grunts and moans when a goal is missed – as if someone just plucked out their kidneys.
Those who cannot decide which socks to wear in the morning spend hours debating the relative greatness of Messi and Ronaldo. Those who cannot go to the washroom from the bedroom without taking rest in between fret over a missed pass. I just cannot get it – so I have found a way to take revenge.
Here are the some of the things I would often say to interrupt a group huddled around the TV watching FIFA or talking about FIFA – (disclosure: I do some of this stuff even for cricket)
1. What are you guys watching? (as if I don’t know that some important stuff is coming)
2. Which tournament guys? – Santosh trophy is it?
3. India – Pakistan match is it?
4. Even Brazil has a team is it? (ask the same question for Argentina also)
5. What kind of a name is Messi? Why does he mess things often is it? (btw – looks like he indeed did)
6. When is India’s match?
Enjoy guys – Messi is out; Ronaldo is out. We still have Virat Kohli.

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