Saturday, April 27, 2019

325 Monday Musings: Laziness, Genetics and Us.

Monday Musings: Laziness, Genetics and Us.

Newspapers can come up with some really funny stories. A recent ones says something to the effect that human kind has a genetic predisposition to sit, which is an euphemism to say, that all of us are genetically programmed to be lazy. This is a tale that hangs to that thread – for its dear life.
Scientists who are researching this line of thought deserve the highest praise in their efforts towards making this world a happier place.
Let’s look at the reasons for my commendation. If this study does indeed prove, beyond reasonable degree of doubt, that we are designed and destined to sit – and hence by Newtonian extension, continue to remain in the position of sitting, then we now have a philosophical argument in favour of laziness. This study shall provide the lazy their moment of glory, a sadistic pleasure of saying ‘’I told you so’’. It shall provide fat men and not-so-thin women (the different in the choice of adjectives are purely for reasons of political correctness) a principled argument to retain their fascination and continuance with matters of girth.
If humans by genetic disposition are inclined to sit, then why in the devils name should we move!! Why waste a movement when non movement can achieve the same?
I like this genetic theory of everything. Studies have earlier shown that some of us genetically predisposed towards a wide array of things – in our love for the drink, the desire for the smoke, extreme attraction for the sugars and so on and so forth. Nothing is more satisfying than blaming our ancestors for our choice of habits. If I see the rasmali and my heart goes through a roller coaster and I can blame that surge of desire to my great grandfather or may be his. I think the whole act of gobbling six rasmalai’s now acquires a very different meaning – may be a modern equivalent of shraadh ! To the world I might be submitting to the seduction of the sweet tooth; to me, I am just paying obeisance to my ancestors – who before they parted to the next world passed on this gene to me.
Let’s continue. I enjoy lazing on the bed well past my time. Genes. The snooze on the mobile was designed as a feature to pay respects to exactly those ancestors. So never feel bad when you press snooze for the sixth time in the morning – it’s your way of respecting those ancestors.
The TV and the mobile were all designed to propagate and strengthen the instinct to sit (ok ok – semi incline is just a variant of sitting!!), thereby carry forward the instincts embedded in our genes. I am beginning to see through the vile propaganda against the television/mobile for what it is – a smear campaign to make us disrespect our past heritage. Let me find an appropriate organisation who is in this business of preservation of anything that has linkages to our glorious past - who shall then counter this diabolic conspiracy to belittle and undermine our culture and the memory of our ancestors. These ancestors and their legacy must be protected from these neo liberals who plant such vicious ideas as health, movement, exercise and fitness in our impressionable minds. I am puffing already with excitement as I type this – which is against the instinct of sitting; so I stop here.
If only I knew it was the genes who were behind my instinct to sit – when mom asked me to bring vegetables or dad wanted me to study or the spouse wanted me to do whatever I did not want to do !!!. I wasted more than two score years feeling guilty about something that I should have actually been proud of.
Post script: Modern offices are places where people sit and work. I think that is an oxymoron – ‘sit and work’. Nothing is more aligned to our genetic impulses than our work seating.
Post The Post Script – ‘’I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven – or do they send some to pick us up’’😀
Guru
www.gurucharangandhi.com || www.mondaymusingsbyguru.blogspot.com

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