Monday Musings: The subjects they must really teach in school and college!
I wistfully remember my days at school and college and helplessly smile at the sheer futility of most of the subjects taught. I am sure some very wise people decide that list and they have all the reasons to believe that young people must definitely study them but I guess they are grossly out of touch.
I have often wondered why was it important for me to study the structure of a flower - petals, sepals and the pollen grains or for that matter why was it so critical for me to understand the horrors of calculus in maths; both have never been used ever since. I have wondered why was it important to know the periodic table in chemistry – or know which gases were inert and which were not (the only gas I have had any use for since then is the LPG – which is not found I guess in the that periodic table) or for that matter it has always confounded me why was it important to know to solve quadratic equations. I would be keen to know if anyone has ever used any of the above in any meaningful way ever after studying them
I have a very long list of utterly useless things they forced upon me in those innocent days which have never been used or have proved even obliquely useful ever since – I wonder if such a torment and sacrifice will ever be redeemed through at least one act of usefulness. However this lament is about something else – I was only setting the stage you see!
In my fairly advanced age now and having grappled with my inadequacies and incompetence in many areas with a price paid I dare not mention here, I wish someone had educated me in these areas. There are many subjects that I wish they taught us really – for I experience the lack of knowledge and ability and its disastrous consequences even to this day. I have paid through my skin for this lack of expertise and if the alcohol induced loquaciousness of friends is anything to go by, I am convinced I am not the only one who feels this way.
Here is an indicative list of some subjects I wish they included in school and colleges as ‘the authorities deem fit’. A diagnostic check for an evolved sense of humour will help before going through the list!
1. On partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse:
a. How to understand expectations that are not even said
b. How to understand what is said between the lines
c. How to understand the ‘exact opposite’ of what is being said
d. How to find a new way of expressing devotion every day
2. On managing domestic chores
a. How to be a plumber/electrician/housekeeping staff together (change the bulb, repair the table lamp, fix the latch, change the fuse, etc)
b. How to buy food – for example which brinjal/guard/tomato is of the right freshness, how to ascertain a fresh chicken , how many different types of rice is there (we should ban growing so many types – it’s impossible to distinguish them in any case), how many types of Daal/lentils are there and how to distinguish between them (there are only two types according to me – one is yellow and one is black; rest all exist only to confuse me) and my all time favourite – how does one really find out if the bloody watermelon will indeed turn out red and sweet – and in case it does not how am I accountable for it !!
c. How to be a trapeze artist – do a time motion study of all expectations that have been dumped on you - it will require 5 times the current salary and 20 times the number of hours in a day.
d. How to organise stuff in a manner that it is retrievable on short notice (rather than going mad over trying to remember where had u safely kept it)
3. On Parenting
a. How to keep patience with kids when they mimic the worst in you ( Me and my daughter both keep wet towels on the bed – I don’t have the heart to correct her)
b. How to deal with complaints that you receive from school which are exact replica of the complaints that you earned (I had an issue with homework; now she has an issue with homework!)
c. How to How to deal with over expressive children in front of your friends ( ‘you know grandpa says dad is lazy’)
Who was that bloke who said – ‘’we don’t need no education’’. I think he saw it coming. Let me modify – ‘’we need relevant education’’.
Smile Please. All is not lost. I still have hope. So do you.
I wistfully remember my days at school and college and helplessly smile at the sheer futility of most of the subjects taught. I am sure some very wise people decide that list and they have all the reasons to believe that young people must definitely study them but I guess they are grossly out of touch.
I have often wondered why was it important for me to study the structure of a flower - petals, sepals and the pollen grains or for that matter why was it so critical for me to understand the horrors of calculus in maths; both have never been used ever since. I have wondered why was it important to know the periodic table in chemistry – or know which gases were inert and which were not (the only gas I have had any use for since then is the LPG – which is not found I guess in the that periodic table) or for that matter it has always confounded me why was it important to know to solve quadratic equations. I would be keen to know if anyone has ever used any of the above in any meaningful way ever after studying them
I have a very long list of utterly useless things they forced upon me in those innocent days which have never been used or have proved even obliquely useful ever since – I wonder if such a torment and sacrifice will ever be redeemed through at least one act of usefulness. However this lament is about something else – I was only setting the stage you see!
In my fairly advanced age now and having grappled with my inadequacies and incompetence in many areas with a price paid I dare not mention here, I wish someone had educated me in these areas. There are many subjects that I wish they taught us really – for I experience the lack of knowledge and ability and its disastrous consequences even to this day. I have paid through my skin for this lack of expertise and if the alcohol induced loquaciousness of friends is anything to go by, I am convinced I am not the only one who feels this way.
Here is an indicative list of some subjects I wish they included in school and colleges as ‘the authorities deem fit’. A diagnostic check for an evolved sense of humour will help before going through the list!
1. On partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse:
a. How to understand expectations that are not even said
b. How to understand what is said between the lines
c. How to understand the ‘exact opposite’ of what is being said
d. How to find a new way of expressing devotion every day
2. On managing domestic chores
a. How to be a plumber/electrician/housekeeping staff together (change the bulb, repair the table lamp, fix the latch, change the fuse, etc)
b. How to buy food – for example which brinjal/guard/tomato is of the right freshness, how to ascertain a fresh chicken , how many different types of rice is there (we should ban growing so many types – it’s impossible to distinguish them in any case), how many types of Daal/lentils are there and how to distinguish between them (there are only two types according to me – one is yellow and one is black; rest all exist only to confuse me) and my all time favourite – how does one really find out if the bloody watermelon will indeed turn out red and sweet – and in case it does not how am I accountable for it !!
c. How to be a trapeze artist – do a time motion study of all expectations that have been dumped on you - it will require 5 times the current salary and 20 times the number of hours in a day.
d. How to organise stuff in a manner that it is retrievable on short notice (rather than going mad over trying to remember where had u safely kept it)
3. On Parenting
a. How to keep patience with kids when they mimic the worst in you ( Me and my daughter both keep wet towels on the bed – I don’t have the heart to correct her)
b. How to deal with complaints that you receive from school which are exact replica of the complaints that you earned (I had an issue with homework; now she has an issue with homework!)
c. How to How to deal with over expressive children in front of your friends ( ‘you know grandpa says dad is lazy’)
Who was that bloke who said – ‘’we don’t need no education’’. I think he saw it coming. Let me modify – ‘’we need relevant education’’.
Smile Please. All is not lost. I still have hope. So do you.
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