Monday Musings 160: The Good in the Bad
There are many mysteries in life that baffle me. Why do good people do bad things, and why do bad people good things. Who are these good people we have read so much about and who are these bad people we hear so much about.
Human mind is a strange hiding place. We store so much in it. We don't always store only the event in it, but our interpretation of it and also the feelings it evoked. Soon the cupboards are overflowing. An event decades ago can still rattle, prick as reminder of destiny's betrayal of how we wanted the script to flow - the thorn not fatal, but just there.
Cognitively we can explain a lot, put in perspective, dissect logically, analyse dispassionately and reach a 'mature' conclusion - that this how it was supposed to be, that no one is to blamed for the unfairness of things, that one does not get all that one wants, and that imperfection is the nature of life and we must live with the difference of what we wanted and what we got.
'What do we really want' is no longer a mere existential angst for the intellectual - its a real question that real people ask. We want financial security, emotional understanding, intellectual acknowledgement respect as an equal, physical compatibility, success and meaning from our pursuit - all rolled into one and in an equal measure. And we want all. Absence of even one is unacceptable The psychotherapist will say that this expectation is not fair and we cannot have the cake and eat it too, but for the human mind, let the therapist be damned, for he knows not the peculiarity of human want -
Dil be ek nadaan bache ki maanind hai
ya to ise sab kuch chahiye, ya kuch bhi nahi
(The heart is like a child; either it wants all or nothing)
And then that big bang dilemma. Do you live with things they are, alone in your agony, for those who listen to it will most likely dissect it cognitively based on facts and/or the restrictive duality of right-wrong, and will miss the plot altogether or say "what the hell - this is one life and we want all the joy, pleasure and meaning that we can pack into it; Time is flying and we will redeem whatever we can; Life may have dealt with cards that it did, but we will play them the way we want; that we will take the leap of faith and do what may not be obvious/normal/usual, but as long as it 'feels' right, it will be done. Most spend entire lives in the interlude of this dilemma, torn between what they think they deserve and the extent they will go to get it.
Life is playing out in strange ways around us. Good people are doing bad things and bad people are doing good things. The only reason i hold my judgement is what a filmy phrase says it eloquently, "if its so wrong, why does it feel so good'