Sunday, November 25, 2012

161 Monday Musings: A reluctant Hero

161 Monday Musings: A Reluctant Hero
He would not be more than thirty two or three may be. The conversation begins with the proverbial small talk. In the course of his life story, he shares that he says he has two sons, one fourteen and the other far younger and i kid with him if he had a child marriage. He smiles but with an effort and continues.

He was like any other young guy, fired with an ambition to do better, rise up the ranks, take the baton forward and hand over to his next generation a situation better than what he had inherited. He falls in love outside the permissible boundaries, the kind of boundaries that exist aplenty, bereft of logic and devoid of substance - but sticks to his decision despite predictable opposition. Soon the two were to get on to build a 'happily thereafter' world for themselves.

A few rains down the years, but a few weeks before they were to wed, life throws at him a strange gauntlet, which is not really his making, but which he cannot watch from the sidelines. His wife's elder sister and her husband meet with a fatal accident leaving behind a ten year old son. Intense thoughts tear the household about the future course of action that needs to be taken with regards to the young boy, and for reasons peculiar to the story, it finally comes down to whether his wife is the best person to take responsibility for the boy.

It was not a simple decision for him. Most discouraged him, few remained non-committal and probably no one encouraged him. The prospect of inheriting a ten year old boy along with the marriage was daunting in many ways - the least of which was inheriting a life long financial commitment. It meant immense emotional investment, it meant dealing with uncertianity about how the peculiar relationship will pan out, it meant dealing with the vagaries of a pre-teen mind who was dealing not only a soul shattering trauma but was also about to deal with the emotional vulnerability of  the what was to come. It meant becoming a parent much before nature meant you to be one. It meant the onerous task of becoming a father much before you learnt the tricks of becoming a husband. 

He agreed - not as much because it was the right thing to do, or a moral decision, or a responsible stand, but because he loved his to be wife. This was the right thing to do, because she wanted this to happen. He would have been fine with any other decision too if his to be wife would have so desired. Its overwhelming to hear the story at this stage, in the realization  how larger than life he is, and just how puny most of us are. Then he clarifies that his decision should not be given a higher nobility than what it deserves, for he did agree to this, or would have agreed to do anything else, should his would be wife had so wanted. It was only about one thing - he loved her and wanted her to be happy.

I get the point. Love - such a beautiful thing - if it had not existed, we would have had to invent it, and he is the hero of the story, much against his wishes.


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