Sunday, November 16, 2014

Monday musings 215 - The Robot

Monday musings 215 - The Robot

(this is supposed to be tongue in cheek - i say this for reasons of political correctness and personal safety)
I had a moment of epiphany the other day and in the spirit of unity of 'man'kind i must share it with others. The usual asterisks apply, that any resemblance to living is purely coincidental and no effort must be undertaken to solve the mystery of who might have inspired the author to write his musings - for the truth is, it is collective wisdom of fellow passenger's, the closest example being a memoir written basis the shared experiences of fellow inmates of Guantanamo bay detention camps or Tihar. 

The epiphany is that the first robot, a device which impersonates a living being, obeys orders and behaves in a pre programmed manner, without any resort to intelligence, intention or individuality was actually a husband. The husband was actually a prototype of what got created in the last century to be called as a robot, experimented and improved upon for centuries in his ability to do as told, behave as directed and still be made to feel grossly inadequate in his ability to take orders and execute them properly - the operational word being 'properly'. 

Now let us explore the world of robots a a bit more. First and foremost, the primary job of a robot is to follow instructions, which are inbuilt into him while he is constructed, bit by bit. After he is wired, if he does not obey the program which is supposed to guide his behaviour, he is considered 'rogue'. He will be reconstructed again and again till the time he does not 'toe the line'. A normal robot is only the one who behaves as per the script - any deviation from the script makes him, what else - rogue, which will attract reprogramming or invasive corrective surgery. All those who have been or are husbands may find this 'process' familiar, but they are advised to to accept and talk about this familiarity only at their own risk. The author shall be preoccupied to manage his own risks once this blog is posted.

Over time the robots are perfected and improved by the use of technology and new inventions, which by the way means that the robots only become better in doing what they are told to do. Some will argue that over time husbands are also improved and perfected, in guess what - to do what is told to them, in the manner in which it is told to them, which incidentally in all assessments by their respective programmers, they always fail to do.

I researched this subject and anecdotal evidence suggests that respondents refused to be identified with their 'true views' on this subject citing personal safety and domestic harmony. I could not argue with such noble objectives and dispute the ultimate human instinct of self preservation. They also recommended caution to me while writing on this subject and highlighted virtues like endurance and the famous sports  motivational maxim 'no pain no gain'.

A last word on this subject - being a robot is not such a bad thing. It takes away the risk of being wrong all the time. Just keep following the program and you shall be such a 'sweet', well....errr...hmmm....robot. Before anyone accuses me of typecasting, stereotyping and the grossly unfair and rude comparison between the husband and the robot, let me add to my defence, the husband and the robot's life may after all may not be comparable. 

The Robot gets programmed only once. The program for the husband may undergo multiple changes, without notice, till he does not know which program to follow in that situation. Needless to say the one he chooses to follow.....is always the wrong one. !!   

God bless the Robot

Guru



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