Monday Musings: Advises that haunt!
Like sins, even advice returns to haunt.
I met a friend of mine recently after an hiatus that emerges from the being caught into the whirlwind of everyday living despite desires (or claims) to ‘let's catch up’ and we got talking. Such conversations have their own anatomy. It begins with the banal how-are-you, whats-up, whats-new, whats-keeping-you-busy-these-days. These questions are like throwing dozens of darts in the hope that one of them will hit the bulls eye. No one knows for sure where and when exactly a crack in the inanities will let out the thread of a really meaningful conversation. The joy really is in two parts – one is the discovery of an unexpected strand of discussion, a subject that would not even have been on the minds of the either of the two would be discovered; and two is the unhurried pace of the conversation where neither is in a hurry to make a discovery. Serendipity and slow motion conversation has its own joy.
I also discovered that advice returns to haunt sometimes so one must be wary of advising. The friend reminded me of an earlier conversation where I was asked ‘’is it important to be ambitious?’’. I had commented ‘’it is only as important to be ambitious in life as it is important to YOU to be ambitious’’. Frankly I had to struggle to remember having said something like this. It sounded cool and fairly intelligent hence I did not dispute that I would have said something like that. We say many things and if we put ourselves through the burden of remembering all of them then we might end up not saying anything. In any case the trend is the say things, say lot of things, and then have the ability to forget that you said anything. Politics, marriages and workplaces run on this exalted ability! (This is another of those that I will forget that said it!!)
Now I would like to believe that ambition is important for me – may be it has always been. I might fit success retrospectively to the presence of ambition or even worse I might even have the temerity (or shamelessness) to attribute success to the presence of ambition. In reality the success could be accidental, random or even just fluke.The question when asked was however deeper than this. It was meant to ask if one is not fiercely ambitious (become senior-assistant-associate-chief-deputy-vice-president or something as significant like that !) or one does not have reasonable clarity of what one wants to become (to become CEO-in-tech-dealing-in-vigilantism-by-age-40 or something purposive like that) does that make us mutant or retards or misfits in times which celebrates clarity and time bound achievement of career goals?
The question had indeed flummoxed me because I was sure that I did not have great credentials to answer it. It is like asking a railway engine to go on a trek. However I cannot escape the fact that the question was asked and I did answer what I answer – i.e. ’it is only as important to be ambitious in life as it is important to you to be ambitious’’
I had mumbled something as an answer. I had tried to keep it neutral, something that would have kept me away from taking a position on the subject. I had obviously not expected that it would actually solve the friend’s predicament. The friend in question was thankful that this sentence put things in perspective and that it no longer troubles not to have a very clear sense of ambition or goal – that it is only as important as it is important to ‘ME’!
So where is the haunt in this? The haunt is not in the question if having an ambition is important for me; for all evidence suggests it is. The question is if THIS ambition, that is the one that I currently have is REALLY important for me? I end with the haunting question – what will I regret more; the chilling prospect of NOT achieving it or having achieved it to realise the chilling consequences of achieving it?
Guru
www.gurucharangandhi.com
www.mondaymusingsbyguru.blogpsot.com
Like sins, even advice returns to haunt.
I met a friend of mine recently after an hiatus that emerges from the being caught into the whirlwind of everyday living despite desires (or claims) to ‘let's catch up’ and we got talking. Such conversations have their own anatomy. It begins with the banal how-are-you, whats-up, whats-new, whats-keeping-you-busy-these-days. These questions are like throwing dozens of darts in the hope that one of them will hit the bulls eye. No one knows for sure where and when exactly a crack in the inanities will let out the thread of a really meaningful conversation. The joy really is in two parts – one is the discovery of an unexpected strand of discussion, a subject that would not even have been on the minds of the either of the two would be discovered; and two is the unhurried pace of the conversation where neither is in a hurry to make a discovery. Serendipity and slow motion conversation has its own joy.
I also discovered that advice returns to haunt sometimes so one must be wary of advising. The friend reminded me of an earlier conversation where I was asked ‘’is it important to be ambitious?’’. I had commented ‘’it is only as important to be ambitious in life as it is important to YOU to be ambitious’’. Frankly I had to struggle to remember having said something like this. It sounded cool and fairly intelligent hence I did not dispute that I would have said something like that. We say many things and if we put ourselves through the burden of remembering all of them then we might end up not saying anything. In any case the trend is the say things, say lot of things, and then have the ability to forget that you said anything. Politics, marriages and workplaces run on this exalted ability! (This is another of those that I will forget that said it!!)
Now I would like to believe that ambition is important for me – may be it has always been. I might fit success retrospectively to the presence of ambition or even worse I might even have the temerity (or shamelessness) to attribute success to the presence of ambition. In reality the success could be accidental, random or even just fluke.The question when asked was however deeper than this. It was meant to ask if one is not fiercely ambitious (become senior-assistant-associate-chief-deputy-vice-president or something as significant like that !) or one does not have reasonable clarity of what one wants to become (to become CEO-in-tech-dealing-in-vigilantism-by-age-40 or something purposive like that) does that make us mutant or retards or misfits in times which celebrates clarity and time bound achievement of career goals?
The question had indeed flummoxed me because I was sure that I did not have great credentials to answer it. It is like asking a railway engine to go on a trek. However I cannot escape the fact that the question was asked and I did answer what I answer – i.e. ’it is only as important to be ambitious in life as it is important to you to be ambitious’’
I had mumbled something as an answer. I had tried to keep it neutral, something that would have kept me away from taking a position on the subject. I had obviously not expected that it would actually solve the friend’s predicament. The friend in question was thankful that this sentence put things in perspective and that it no longer troubles not to have a very clear sense of ambition or goal – that it is only as important as it is important to ‘ME’!
So where is the haunt in this? The haunt is not in the question if having an ambition is important for me; for all evidence suggests it is. The question is if THIS ambition, that is the one that I currently have is REALLY important for me? I end with the haunting question – what will I regret more; the chilling prospect of NOT achieving it or having achieved it to realise the chilling consequences of achieving it?
Guru
www.gurucharangandhi.com
www.mondaymusingsbyguru.blogpsot.com
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