Monday Musings: Handwriting et al.
Apparently a medical college in Indore is planning to run ‘handwriting’ classes for the doctors!!
Tragedy is never high brow – the ones I like it more the ordinary; which evokes pain and smile in equal measure. Two score years ago I failed to crack the exam called ‘Medical Entrance’ – and for a few years at least lived under the ignominy of having failed myself from serving humanity; realising only later that failing the exam was actually the greatest service I rendered to humanity.
As I read the story of doctors being sent for handwriting classes, something my 11 and 6 year olds are sent to, I experienced a joy I never knew existed. I can only imagine the conversation in those classes. The teacher reprimanding something like this ‘’Mind your paracetamol – it looks like parasitamol’’; or in yet another heart wrenching case that ‘’your losartan is loosartan’’ (only the medically inclined be able to understand the double pun in it).
I did some google research on some hilarious medical report errors attributed to handwriting or spelling errors or poor language. Here are my top 10 – the ones that made me ROFL!!
1. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function
2. Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress
3. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared
4. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing
5. The patient has no past history of suicides.
6. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
7. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling much better.
8. The patient is s a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.
9. The patient refused an autopsy.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
I am yet to ascertain why it is called ‘handwriting’ – the hand in the writing is quite superfluous and useless. Is there any other kind of writing we are aware of! I mean a liverwriting or nosewriting is a promising idea but a hideous one. I would much rather have my liver engaged in digesting my whiskey rather than wasting time in dealing with the inanity of the written word. The nose on the other had must continue its idyllic charm of poking itself into other people’s business, and quite needlessly at that. The ‘hand’ in the ‘handwriting’ is what Advani is to the BJP – useful once upon a time, largely defunct now, but if tickled enough to cause a rupture can still cause excruciating pain.
Coming back to the doctors who shall be given a course on improving their handwriting, I begin to wonder which are the other professions who can be sent backing to do some basic work. Lawyers can be sent to listening skills – come to think of it, many in the corporate world are also in dire need of this. I am told that the Vipaassna meditation courses where one is to be absolutely quiet without talking for say a week is rather unpopular with the lawyers and managers
Politicians? What special classes must they be sent to? I think they need many classes but the one I would like to send them is preparatory quarantines – where they have to live away from all human contact for a week. There should also be no mirrors so that they cannot indulge in the vanity of self viewing, which comes with narcissism, an affliction so common in them.
Celebrities from cinema and media must be sent to classes which will help them express themselves authentically – not some programmed expressions with programmed clichés. Very difficult indeed.
I am still wondering though what classes should husbands attend? If the range of feedbacks that are rumoured to come an average husbands way is anything to go by, I think he does not need corrective classes – he needs reincarnation. I wonder even that will help. 😀
Guru
www.gurucharangandhi.com||
www.mondaymusingsbyguru.blogpsot.com
@musingsbyguru
Apparently a medical college in Indore is planning to run ‘handwriting’ classes for the doctors!!
Tragedy is never high brow – the ones I like it more the ordinary; which evokes pain and smile in equal measure. Two score years ago I failed to crack the exam called ‘Medical Entrance’ – and for a few years at least lived under the ignominy of having failed myself from serving humanity; realising only later that failing the exam was actually the greatest service I rendered to humanity.
As I read the story of doctors being sent for handwriting classes, something my 11 and 6 year olds are sent to, I experienced a joy I never knew existed. I can only imagine the conversation in those classes. The teacher reprimanding something like this ‘’Mind your paracetamol – it looks like parasitamol’’; or in yet another heart wrenching case that ‘’your losartan is loosartan’’ (only the medically inclined be able to understand the double pun in it).
I did some google research on some hilarious medical report errors attributed to handwriting or spelling errors or poor language. Here are my top 10 – the ones that made me ROFL!!
1. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function
2. Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress
3. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared
4. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing
5. The patient has no past history of suicides.
6. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
7. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling much better.
8. The patient is s a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.
9. The patient refused an autopsy.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
I am yet to ascertain why it is called ‘handwriting’ – the hand in the writing is quite superfluous and useless. Is there any other kind of writing we are aware of! I mean a liverwriting or nosewriting is a promising idea but a hideous one. I would much rather have my liver engaged in digesting my whiskey rather than wasting time in dealing with the inanity of the written word. The nose on the other had must continue its idyllic charm of poking itself into other people’s business, and quite needlessly at that. The ‘hand’ in the ‘handwriting’ is what Advani is to the BJP – useful once upon a time, largely defunct now, but if tickled enough to cause a rupture can still cause excruciating pain.
Coming back to the doctors who shall be given a course on improving their handwriting, I begin to wonder which are the other professions who can be sent backing to do some basic work. Lawyers can be sent to listening skills – come to think of it, many in the corporate world are also in dire need of this. I am told that the Vipaassna meditation courses where one is to be absolutely quiet without talking for say a week is rather unpopular with the lawyers and managers
Politicians? What special classes must they be sent to? I think they need many classes but the one I would like to send them is preparatory quarantines – where they have to live away from all human contact for a week. There should also be no mirrors so that they cannot indulge in the vanity of self viewing, which comes with narcissism, an affliction so common in them.
Celebrities from cinema and media must be sent to classes which will help them express themselves authentically – not some programmed expressions with programmed clichés. Very difficult indeed.
I am still wondering though what classes should husbands attend? If the range of feedbacks that are rumoured to come an average husbands way is anything to go by, I think he does not need corrective classes – he needs reincarnation. I wonder even that will help. 😀
Guru
www.gurucharangandhi.com||
www.mondaymusingsbyguru.blogpsot.com
@musingsbyguru
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